I Love Him like A Brother-in-Law – Learn Islam

A swell of inquisitiveness and disagreement came out of her eyes as she stared at me with a mixture of displeasure and displeasure.

My auntie was clearly not completely content with Muslim women segregating from their husbands-in-law. I emphasized that the Muslim woman should do to be segregated from her brother-in law, regardless of whether they live in the same house and even if he’s older that the woman and even if the sister-in law considers him to be her son or brother. 

Confused and in a state of confusion She hesitated initially but then said with determination (obviously not in agreement with my words)”I believe that’s too extreme. the brother-in-law is just like a brother! ?’

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I chose to respond by using words that outweigh my words that I could have spoken of my own volition, since they were inspired by the prophet (prayers and peace be upon him). I replied that the Prophet (prayers and peace be upon his) stated that

“The brother-inlaw is Death.”

Though clearly stunned and confused by this hadeeth, her expression was a bit unsure. It was a surprise to me, considering that Allah [azza wa Jall] said in the Qur’aan in regard to prophet (prayers and peace be upon his soul),

{Or does the man speak of (his personal) desire.

It’s just an idea that is inspirated. }[1]

As she was about to take her second round my husband called me. that it had gotten late and the time was right to head back home.

I was wondering if having return to home for a while was good to myself…

“‘Uqba bin ‘Amir [RadhiAllahu A’nhu] told his Prophet (prayers and peace be upon him) declared,

“Beware of getting into the women.”

The Ansaar was a man who, said, “Allah’s Apostle! What’s the matter with al-Hamuw?” The Prophet replied, “The Hamuw is death.”[33

In Arabic the word “Hamuw” is a reference to the husband’s brother , or his relatives, for instance his paternal uncle’s son and his uncle’s maternal son.'[4It could also mean the spouse of the sister. [5] Let’s quickly re-cap…

Hamuw means:

1. The Husband’s brother and male relatives.

2. The Husband of The Sister’s Husband

So, the term ‘Hamuw’ Arabic is more of a general meaning than it does in English. In English the phrase “brother-in-law” is used to refer only to the husband’s son and is not inclusive of his family members, such as his cousins or siblings of cousins. In English the expression ‘brother-in law is only referring to the brother of the spouse or wife’s sister. It is essential to be aware the fact that in Arabic the expression Hamuw is also used to refer to the husband’s and cousins of the wife.

In Islaam the terms ‘Dhu Mahaarim (sing: Mahram) has been defined clearly as follows: A Mahram is a woman’s husband , or a man that the woman is not able to marry according to the Islaamic Jurisprudence. This could be due to blood relations (such as father brother, son paternal uncle, father, etc.) as well as due to an unrelated relationship.

 No other Non-Mahram have the Prophet (prayers and peace be upon his name) utilized the same explicit and specific words of caution in the same way as he does for the brother-in-law. Even though our culture and customs allow mixing of a sister-inlaw with her brother-in law as if it were real brothers however, according to Shari’ah (Islamic law) it is not considered to be a blood brother. Hamuw cannot be considered to be a blood brother, or even blood brothers. Thus, the addition of ‘in-law”brother-in-law” does not refer towards the Islaamic law.

What is the Similitude of “Death”?

Based on the words of experts (and other of my reflections) we are able to learn the reasons for how the prophet (prayers and peace be upon his name) spoke of the brother-in law as “death”:

As a woman is able to escape dying, so should she also run away from with and being with your brother-in-law however much she is able to.

As death is inevitable and inevitable, it’s also the case that, at times due to the strong brother-in-law relationship with his spouse, the wife could be placed in a position with him that she never will she be faced with any other person.

His (i.e. the brother-in-law) being near to spouse of brother can be compared to death with its anger and mafsadah (cause of evil and corruption). The brother-in law may appear to be like her husband in looks and appearance, and the sister-in law might discover her brother in law charming, or vice versa. These scenarios could be the source of many problems which could lead to:

The marriage is coming to an end just when death is bringing an end to the life. This causes the loss from her modesty and religious fervor.

The result is her death metaphorically and her husband’s jealousy (gheerah) can lead him to divorce her.

She is executed for adultery if she has a romantic relationship with him. She ought to be cautious with the Hamuw the same way you would to be wary of death.

As a person escapes from death, it’s mandatory that the husband stays away from allowing entry of relatives on their spouse and his family members who aren’t mahrams to her.

We can see how short, succinct and powerful the prophetic words of the Prophet (prayers and peace be upon his name) are. The hearts of all women who believe in God must be filled with the utmost caution and she should pay attention to this.

Let’s strengthen what’s been said by delving into the explanations to this Hadeeth, as explained by some of the most greatest scholars from Islaam.

Statements of The Scholars

Imaam Al Qurtubi

Imaam al Qurtubi was quoted in relation to the Prophet’s (prayers and peace be upon his) assertion that ‘the brother-inlaw is death”

“In the words of his taking one of the wives of his brother’s brother resembles death with anger and mafsadah (cause of corruption and evil). Thus it is said that he (the Prophet and his prayers and peace upon him) has strictly prohibited (it by an) clearly stated restriction. He (the Prophet (Prayers and prayers and peace upon himprayer and peace be upon him) has stressed the need to be cautious from the previous warning.

He (described it described it as) death because of the indulgence of those involved (openly) and from (both) both the spouse’s and wives’ side, since it is now an accepted norm…the Hamuw entering upon the women leads to the death from her deen (religion) or her demise through her (husband) dissolving her when he is jealous or stoned for committing adultery with him.”[6[6.

Imaam Al Baghawee

“Al Hamuw: its plural is “Al Ahmaa’ and they are the brothers-in-law (including his cousins and others) from the husband’s family, and the sister-in-laws (including her cousins and others) from the spouse’s side… The Arabs use this expression (i.e. “something that is death” )… similar to the expression”the Sultan is fire’.

The meaning in this (hadeeth) signifies: definitely being alone with the Hamuw and their (the spouse) will be more painful than the solitude she shares in any stranger…it also implies: “have be cautious with your Hamuw just the same way you would protect yourself from death.”[77

Imaam An-Nawawi

“Layth bin Sa’d” said that Al-Hamuw is his brother. and any person who resembles him (the-brother-in-law) from the family of the husband, such as his paternal uncle’s son, etc. According to the Scholars of Language have unanimously recognized the notion that Al-Ahmaa (trans. it is the plural form of al-Hamuw) are the family members of a husband’s wife like his father or paternal uncle, his brother or the brother’s son and the paternal son of his uncle and the like. Additionally there is the Akhthaan is the family of a woman’s husband and the Ashaar spouse of one’s sister. This is the reason it happens for both kinds of people.

If we take The Prophet’s (prayers and peace be upon his) declaration that ‘the brother-in law is the death of the family’, it is a sign that fear of him is greater than that of any other person. And the evil which occurs from him and the fitnah (trial/temptation/discord) is more due to him being able to reach the woman and be alone with her,- without disapproval [being levied] upon him-, unlike the ajnabee (stranger)…Ibn Arabee said that it is a phrasing used in Arabic, like they say, ‘the lion is death’ i.e. being in contact with him is equivalent to death. 

And Qaadhi claimed that a separation from his Ahmaa’ (trans. it is the plural form of Al-Hamuw) results in fittingnah and the destruction of deen (religion) which is the reason he described it as akin to the demise of death. Thus, the phrase is a sign of importance (i.e. the importance of the subject in question ).”[8The phrasing shows weight (i.e. the importance of the issue at hand

Imaam As-Suyooti

“‘The Brother-in-Law’s death is the law” means: definitely his fear is greater than other people and the harm that comes from him when he is in his privacy is greater due to the fact that he can have access to women and be able to be in her presence without being judged by him, as opposed to the Ajnabee (stranger). Although, he’s more worthy of being barred (from having access) in comparison to the stranger!”[99

Imaam Ibn Hajar Al Asqalaani

“Seclusion from the Hamuw is certain to bring about the loss of deen (of an individual) when a sin is committed or death is triggered if a crime happens, (in which case) stone-throwing is transformed into waajib (incumbent) [trans. the meaning here Ibn Hajr is referring to the case of an adulterous relationship between them or (it results in) destruction to women who are divorced from her husband in cases where his jealousy and protection [gheerahcauses him to divorce her.”[10[10

Shaykh ‘Uthaymeen

“‘The Brother-in-law’s death’ is one of the most important words of advice. It is a reference to the fact that when someone flees the death of his loved ones, so it’s essential to ensure that the one who is dying (the husband) does not allow (allowing) the entry of relatives to their spouse and his family members who aren’t mahram (to her). 

This is a severe disdain of (allowing) his spouse’s relatives entry into the home of the husband (which will be even more) important than the entry of strangers because they enter with the knowledge that they are family members which is why no one would be disapproving. And when they approach the door to ask permission to enter, no one refuses them entry.

This is the reason it’s prohibited for a person to offers his brother the chance to spend time in his home with wife. Many people take this issue as a joke; you’ll see them (the spouse) along with his spouse and there is a brother who is at the stage of puberty and the husband (the the husband) works with his wife, leaving her and his brother at house alone. This is considered to be haraam (prohibited) as satan is present in Adam’s son. Adam as does blood runs.

(The problem is) What is the best way to keep them apart when there is a common house (i.e. when they reside in the same residence)? (The answer is:) it will be waajib (incumbent) incumbent to set an unlocked door between the quarters that of the male (brother-in-law) and the quarter of the woman. He (must) carry the key (of the lock). Then, he (should) inform his brother”This is your house.’ and to his wife”This is your house.’ and he (should) inform his family, ‘This’s your home.’.

It is not permitted to leave the door open, as the person (the brother-in-law) could be able to enter her and the satan could mislead him and the satan may even rape her and perhaps lull her into concord, the result will be that she’s his (the sister-in law’s) wife, stepping into her (like husbands do) and leaving and he does not (even) care. We pray to Allah to forgive us. …”[11[12]

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Shaykh Atiyyah Muhammad As-Saalim

Al Hamuw, the brother of the husband.

It (i.e. this hadeeth) signifies that he enters (upon the wife of his brother) when he is not his brother. This is why the Prophet (prayers and peace be upon his soul) declared that he was the most deadly of risks and that’s why he stated”The Brother in Law is dead’ since that ajnabee (stranger) will not allow to go in and even if he enters, there is a sense of the need to be cautious. For the husband’s brother who is the husband’s brother, he then enters the home by his son and there is absence of care that it’s like death.

Accordingly, in this hadeeth that the prophet (prayers and peace be upon his soul) clarifies for us that it’s on him (i.e. your brother) to (exercise) caution from the woman (brother’s wife), and likewise for the woman (to be cautious of the brother-in-law). “[12]

Muhammad Al-Ameen Ash-Shanqeetee

This famous Scholar recorded in his Tafseer on the basis of the Hadeeththat “The brother in law is death’, proving that segregation and partitioning should be created between the brother-in law and his sister-in-law

“…without doubt, his (the Prophet’s prayer praises and the peace of God be with you) phrase is the most powerful warning phrasing, as death is by far the most horrific thing that can happen to any person on earth. As the poet wrote,

And death is the most humbling of all the events

From which (comes to) pass on his creation. Thus The Prophet’s (prayers and peace be upon his):

1. The most serious phrasing for caution about the entrance of men over females (non-mahrams) and

2) His expression of relatives’ assault on an unmarried woman by saying it was a ‘death’

is the authentic proof of prophetic prophetic that is the true prophetic proof is true prophetic proof that the statement of Allah,


The dress is universal for all women is universal for all women, as you can see (i.e. in its tafseer , which preceded). When the Hukm (ruling) was exclusive to the wives of His (i.e that of the Prophet’s (prayers and peace be upon his) wives) Why was it that the Prophet (the Prophet (prayers and peace be upon his)) ) warn the men (with) the general (and not specifically) phrase of grave warning to not touch women (and not only wives of Prophets)?

Additionally, the obvious meaning of the Hadeeth it appears that the warning is against getting into their presence even if seclusion is not a factor between them. And it is true that entering into them and the seclusion they bring with them are both considered haraam (prohibited) as well as a strict ban …Imaam Muhammad (may Allah have mercy on his soul) mentioned this hadeeth within his chapter about the prohibition against solitude among people who are strangers and (their) being able to enter upon her (i.e. women). Both are haram…

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The word ‘iyyaakum’ (in the hadeeth )… refers to being cautious/fearful (ittaqoo) and implies the meaning of ‘keep yourself [ittaqoo] of entering into women and women gaining access to you’. In the story that comes from Ibn Wahb (of this hadeeth it comes) with the phrase, “Do not enter upon women” and includes the prohibition of entering (aswell as the) restriction on seclusion from her in the first method (i.e. by entering her ).”[14[14.

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